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Sunday, September 30, 2012

Ode to Jon Stewart

its always about relationships. the upcoming 2012 will feature a pair of seriously boring candidates. and from our modern American media landscape of commodity driven lifestyle, a stroll down memory lane has me fixated on an image of one of monica lewinski's handbags  teaming with greasy "freedom fries." were things always so absurd? how have we arrived at such a drab impasse?  either side of our political spectrum boringly stagnates like a seesaw teetering over a vanilla babypool. 

therefore, what better manifestation to perfectly illustrate the contentious dichotomy and utter absurdity of our 2 party system than the former cnn talk-show: crossfire. stupid bowtie wearing tucker carlson and spineless paul begala were 2 of the hosts on that show, and they were both hosting on 10-15-2004, the day that jon stewart was slated to be the special guest. bowtie and spineless are supposed to represent the right and the left respectively. every day they would babble and "debate" political topics. and of course, we all know what the conservative and the liberal are gonna say before they speak. and maybe that was the reason why this show was stupid, because each side would automatically defend an issue by speaking for their party. i always found the predictability to be dull and lacking in substance, because you already know how each side is supposed to feel, based on the predictable mores and predetermined poll results that comprise our country's "political diversity."  seldom does anyone defy their "sacred" party platform. so leave it to the great, Jon Stewart to be a guest on crossfire to one-up the Box in his defiance to choose left or right. i was super lucky to be watching this live as it happened. it remains as an auspicious moment of awesomeness in my life. here is the actual dialogue from part of that show:

JON STEWART: ... And I made a special effort to come on the show today, because I have privately, amongst my friends and also in occasional newspapers and television shows, mentioned this show as being bad.
[LAUGHTER]
PAUL BEGALA: We have noticed.
STEWART: And I wanted to -- I felt that that wasn't fair and I should come here and tell you that I don't -- it's not so much that it's bad, as it's hurting America.
[LAUGHTER]
TUCKER CARLSON: But in its defense...
[CROSSTALK]
STEWART: So I wanted to come here today and say...
[CROSSTALK]
STEWART: Here's just what I wanted to tell you guys.
CARLSON: Yes...
STEWART: Stop.
[LAUGHTER]
STEWART: Stop, stop, stop, stop hurting America.
[nervous laughter]

later on...

BEGALA: [you are telling me that] CROSSFIRE reduces everything, as I said in the intro, to left, right, black, white.
STEWART: Yes.
BEGALA: Well, it's because, see, we're a debate show.
STEWART: No, no, no, no, that would be great....
his point of course was that no real debating occurred on crossfire, just butt-kissing. the ensuing discourse was wonderfully awkward and scathingly accurate. stewart basically said to start giving the politicians a hard time with the questions, stop pandering to them, stop being nice to them. start demanding accountability and possible moments of realness. the needs of the politician, not the people had become the reason why the show was able to book such high ranking guests. but in real life, the needs of the many out-weigh the needs of the one. well maybe someday, but it starts with one man, and he got crossfire canceled. from spok to the Box to jon stewart, lets stop accepting the saccharine soft serve and start punching some faces. later dudes.